Weird Story
by Kristine93
Summary: A HitsuMastu one-shot. Someone wrote an article about Hitsugaya being gay. Oops.


**_A/N: A very short one-shot I wrote out of boredom. _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._**

**_I don't have high expectations about it, so please don't write flamers, ok? Anyway, enjoy and, oh, I put a new video in youtube ( you can find a link to my youtube profile in my profile here) based on Bleach 2 DiamonDust Rebellion and I think it's really cool, so go check it out ok?_**

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Queer is here! Ask Shiro-chan!**

An exclusive, revealing article, sent to the journal by a reliable creator, who wished to remain unnamed

_Now, looking few years ago, we can say that our little, charming child-prodigy was indeed… well, a child. His skills were and still are absolutely stunning, along with his brilliant mind and indubitably precise intuition, which, of course, granted him spotlight wherever he would set a foot. And as he grew up, he would remain just as interesting for all of us._

_Well, the big excuse of his age and height is all gone for good. What we are facing now is a fairly tall, handsome young man, breath-taking in any way possible: strength, looks and intellect. We have Soul Society's most attractive women yearning for him and no respond whatsoever. Close people would admit they had never seen him look at a girl twice, nor mention anything that would be considered personal opinion about a female individual. Is Hitsugaya Toushiro indeed so engulfed with his job, so concentrated on doing paperwork and fighting, that he can't find spare time to even TRY have a girlfriend? Or is there something more, something far more embarrassing, yet very obvious out there to explain his behavior?_

_I shall disappoint a great amount of perfectly gorgeous women out there by telling you the truth: the ice prince is GAY!_

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

"Well, the author does have a point, don't you think?" Matsumoto pointed out, chewing on her thumbnail as she reached the middle of the article.

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

"I wouldn't blame them for thinking that. You do act sort of weird around women…"

**BANG! BANG! BANG!**

Matsumoto looked behind her and grinned at the sight of her captain slamming his forehead in the wall on even intervals of time.

"I think you're progressing very well with digging a tunnel with your head." She pointed out, eyeing the dent that was forming due to the hits "It'll be very useful for a short cut to the office…"

_**BANG!**_

Few pieces of plaster from the ceiling dusted on Matsumoto's head and shoulders.

"Ok, that's enough masochism for one day." she announced, throwing the journal aside "You had your fun."

She grabbed his forearm and pulled him away from the wall, guiding him towards the office sofa. He reeled, his free hand wandering disorientedly around his throbbing head.

"There you go…" Matsumoto murmured, helping him to sit down "See? No harm done. You'll be fine."

Hitsugaya blinked a couple of times, sobering up with a groan.

"Yes, I'll be fine, as soon as I find out who wrote this and upholster my office chair with his skin!" He growled, glaring at his toes "I can't believe this is really happening to me!"

"Aww, don't be so stressed out about this!" Matsumoto soothed him, ruffling his hair playfully "No one reads this. So chill, it'll be all…"

The door burst open.

"IF YOU WERE GAY…" a horrible voice sang triumphantly as Kyouraku danced inside, waving himself with a journal "THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY (BUT I'M NOT GAY.)"

Matsumoto couldn't help it but laugh when Hitsugaya's face contorted into a horrifyed expression.

"He'd love a lightening, now, please!" Toushiro growled, his eyes turned heavenwards.

"IF YOU WERE QUEER" Kyouraku continued, plopping on the sofa on Hitsugaya's other side "I'D STILL BE HERE!!!!"

Hitsugaya stiffened as the man's arm wrapped around his shoulders and forced him into swaying from side to side with its owner.

"YEAR AFTER YEAR, BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR!!!"

"Hell broke loose…" Toushiro hissed through gritted teeth and slowly turned his head to face the other captain who was still swaying him along in the rhythm of the disturbing song "I'm going to shove this journal in your mouth! BON APPETIT!"

Matusmoto succeeded in pinning Hitsugaya to the floor before he could inflict irreversible physical and mental damage to his friend, who was, at that moment, irresponsibly laughing his head off on the sofa.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Hitsugaya yelled hysterically, writhing to get away from Matsumoto's grip, which turned out to be quite difficult considering he was still a bit dizzy from the masochistic sessions and the fact the vice-captain knew his weak spots better than anyone else.

"Yes, yes" Kyouraku continued laughing "But if you were gay…"

"NO! SHUT IT YOU STUPID, CLAD IN PINK MORON! I'M GOING TO FREEZE YOUR TONGUE! ARRGH! MATSUMOTO, LET ME GO, DON'T YOU SEE I URGENTLY MUST KILL HIM!" Hitsugaya screamed, growling at the knee that was shoved in his stomach ruthlessly to keep him down.

"Calm down, you blizzard!" Kyouraku shook his head, still smiling "I don't think you're gay."

Hitsugaya slowly calmed down, his eyes becoming perplexed.

"You don't?"

"Of course not!" the 8th division taicho waved his hand dismissively "I know you far too well to believe this article. Though, the author does have a point, don't you think? That must be the reason why everybody are so willing to believe it… I heard a few groups of shinigami discuss the shocking matter with great passion on my way here…"

"WHAT! I'M GOING TO TEAR THEIR HEADS, I'M GOING TO… "

"Calm down, taicho!" Matumoto shouted, pressing her knee harder in his stomach. Hitsugaya yelped with discomfort, his legs shifting a bit before he quieted down.

"I'm cool, I'm cool." Toushiro choked a bit, his face slightly pained. Matsumoto sighed, shaking her head.

"It's not such big deal. You'll get a girlfriend and everything will be alright." Kyouraku pointed out from behind Rangiku's back.

"I do no intend to discuss this matter with you!" Hitsugaya announced, slightly shifting his head to a side so he could scowl more evidently at Kyouraku without Matusmoto's body blocking his view "I'd be very happy if you left right away."

Kyouraku chuckled, then got up and headed to the door.

"I'd advise you not to go out a lot. Especially if you are not very fond of the "If you were gay" song. People today seem to be in the mood to sing it fairy often and with enthusiasm worth admiration."

An hour later…

"Do you think I act or look feminine?" Hitsugaya muttered, running a hand through his hair as he stared at his reflection in the mirror "Do you?"

Matsumoto tilted her head to a side and a small smile formed on her lips.

Just as she had suspected, with the time he had outgrown her in height and had turned into a pure paragon of masculine beauty. His features had lost the very last reminders of child roundness, but were still soft and gentle, his hair was still the same mess of spiky white locks, his eyes just as amazing with their breath-taking jade colour and long black lashes.

His body was perfectly lean, but strong and tough, impossibly flexible and prompt. Unique, yet thorough without a doubt in every way possible… That was what Hitsugaya Toushiro had turned into.

"Don't let this get to you." Matsumoto said, walking up to him and wrapping both hands around his waist from behind "Consider it a chance."

"A… chance?"

"Well… More like a hint."

"Hint…" his voice was low and doubtful as he raised a brow at at mirror.

"From fate. It's time to walk into the light… reveal the truth… about us…"

"What would everybody say…?"

"You're so ashamed of me that you prefer people calling you gay than knowing you have a relationship with me?" she questioned, her grip around him loosing considerably.

Hitsugaya sighed, slowly turning around and holding her face in his hands.

"Don't be stupid." He murmured, gazing down at her "How can anyone be ashamded of you… I just… I don't want you having to deal with gossips just because you happen to be with your boss…"

Matsumoto smiled up at him.

"You're overcautious. Stop worrying. Let them talk, they'll grow tired of it eventually."

"As they will from calling me gay."

"Do you want to take the chance?"

Pause.

"You win. No more hiding!" Hitsugaya announced, leaning to kiss her gently on the lips. Matsumoto smirked into the kiss. Maybe writing the article wasn't such a bad idea after all…

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**_No offense intended to homosexuals! You guys rock!_**


End file.
